dear brook

Dear Brook,

You my dear are more special then I was ever able to give you credit for during your time on earth. I think about you every single day. I honestly believe you are watching over me and making the best Brook choices for me and teaching me lessons where I need them. I feel you babe.

I was selfish. You were looking out for me and I was so caught up and boy crazy I let it effect our friendship and for that, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to forgive myself. I'd hope at some point or another my prayer apology has got to you or maybe some how this letter. I'm sorry I didn't sit with you the night of my Christmas party when I now realize you felt anxious... and in a room full of strangers why wouldn't you. I'm sorry I missed your birthday... I'm sorry I didn't realize what a gift you were when I had you.

I hope that you did realize I considered you a best friend. I spoke so highly of you, and I still do. It frustrates me so much when I try to explain you to people cause it never comes off as incredible as you were.

Your death flipped my world upside down. I look at life so differently since you left. I find myself wondering how you would handle a situation. I try to be generous, and compassionate and kind at any opportunity. I find myself bawling in my car at least once a week cause sometimes it's fine and sometimes the reality of it all hits me square in the face how unfair the world loosing Brook was...

I promise to always keep an eye out for the little guy, I promise to never use the "R" word and continue your legacy of saying something to the people who do, I promise to be the kindest human I possibly can. As long as you promise to keep me centred. Keep me guarded, I'm trusting you girl. I love you more then you probably ever knew and that's what hurts a lot. Till we meet again pretty girl...

Jenna x