adjectives I can't define
I like to think I’ve always been good with words. I’ve always really excelled at writing birthday cards that make people cry or writing witty comments to make people laugh. I enjoy reading and obviously writing although to be honest it took me longer then I feel it should of to practice my passion in literature. Although they do say is better late then never, but who’s to say you’re even late? I feel a certain amount of growth or maturity is required for being able to transfer your life experiences to platform that might allow judgment or discrimination. When I was little I enjoyed writing in journals but I would feel the world slide beneath me when I found out someone had read my thoughts or feelings, and fair enough. I feel like I am more at peace with myself now. I am okay that perhaps the things that make me feel excluded are just distinctive traits that make me who I am. I am a repertoire of things. I am kind, I am loving, I can be anxious and down right irrational. I overthink like it’s my day job…
I get so frustrated when I can’t convey how important certain things are to me, How much fun I had…, or how amazing a certain time was.. I will spontaneously message my friends to tell them I love them and they will always reply “I love you to babe!” And for some reason I feel like they aren’t taking me seriously…
“No, you don’t understand, I legit am so thankful to have you in my life, you are so important to me and I love you” I’ll respond…
Wow, I’d be the best boyfriend ever. I get mad that I feel like people don’t feel emotions at my caliber and I’m not sure what adjective you would use to describe this or if I’m the only one…
I’m the best hype girl, ever. I get so excited for any event that has the potential to be fun. Wether it’s something big like a concert or just a little girls night out. Some may feel this may set me up for disappointment but to be honest I can’t recall a recent event where my excitement lead me to be upset with the outcome. I love feeling excited and having something to look forward to. I actually need it. I find I can fall depressed if I don’t have an event to look forward to. Excitable isn’t the word I’m looking for… It’s feel like it’s even more then that.
If you’re my girlfriend, or a past or at one point potential boyfriend, You probably know I’m a love bug. I can’t help it. The idea of having a best friend that I get to have sleepovers with, and tell my stories to, and do the fun things that I normally do alone with sounds awesome to me. I love to cuddle, I love sex and forehead kisses make me melt. But I also face the truth that I am extremely independent. I am comfortable being alone. I refuse to miss out on things because of a partner. I want to travel. I want to write without judgment. I want to flirt, and I like male attention. I refuse to be content with someone mediocre. You are going to need to shake my soul if this is going to work. I’m not sure what you call someone who wants love more then anything, but won’t accept it.
I’m so defined by all these things I can’t define… How do I describe myself if I don’t even know what some of my most distinctive elements are labeled as. If you are super word savvy you might be able to help me out. Get in touch at the bottom of my blog if you feel the same or are able to assist me in my never ending mission of discovering who I am.
All my love,
J x
